The first time I can recall thinking about becoming a mother was sometime shortly before the age of 5. My godmother was gorgeously round with her first daughter and I remember feeling the baby move. I waited with my little hands pressed against her skin, just waiting for that moment. Later that night, I asked my mom, "When can I have a baby in MY belly?" That moment was pivotal for me -- it began my love affair with motherhood -- mine, yours, it didn't matter. It's part of what drove me to become a doula.
I spent my summers babysitting and years dreaming what it would be like to become a mother. For the first time in my life, I'm less sure that becoming a mother will be part of my story. I'll be 38 this year and I've spent all of my savings and am in debt from trying to become a mother. Even though I work and live in RI, my employer's health coverage is self-funded and managed from out of state, so I have no coverage for fertility treatments or medication as they are exempt from RI law. Everything is out of pocket. After 3 years of trying, I’m out of money, but still desperately want a baby.
In life, most things can be achieved by setting a goal, working hard, practicing, etc. You have control. It is up to you whether or not you succeed. Trying to conceive is nothing like that. You can do everything right, time everything perfectly, and you still have no control. There's nothing you can do to make it happen. It either happens or it doesn't. You're pregnant or you're not.
As a person who generally sets a goal and achieves it, THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY. Once I decide that I want to do something, I make it happen. It will often take a long time for me to figure out what it is that I want, but once I know, I'm unstoppable. So, because I can't get better at getting pregnant with all of the practice in the world, I'm throwing a big fundraiser. I'm going to use the money to pay people who have had a whole lot of practice at successfully getting people pregnant. And I'm going to hope and pray that they can use their skills to get me pregnant with fertility treatments. If that fails (and maybe even if it doesn't), I'm going to look into adoption, too.
You can help ease the emotional and financial burden of infertility by joining me for a night of aerial acrobatics entertainment, dancing, and a silent auction featuring items from local artisans on Sunday, Feb. 15, 2015.
Hang In th’ Air, Baby! at East Greenwich’s Varnum Memorial Armory, will feature local performer/female impersonator Gia Deveroux, aerialists from Arielle Extreme gracefully defying gravity, as well as a silent auction, raffle, and dancing.
Chipotle Warwick, Whole Foods Market Cranston, Narragansett Beer, West Side Wellness, Blue Sky Spaworks, Eala Bhan Studio, Yoreganics, Bryn Merida Massage Therapy and Providence Community Acupuncture are among the local businesses donating goods or services to Hang In th’ Air, Baby!
In addition, numerous handmade items and works of art have been donated for the silent auction.
Tickets for Hang In th’ Air, Baby! are $20 in advance and $25 at the door, kids age 5 and over are $5; to purchase tickets here.
WHAT: Hang In th’ Air, Baby! – a night of arts and entertainment to benefit Jenny Gruslin
WHEN: Sunday, February 15, 2015 at 6 p.m.
WHERE: Varnum Memorial Armory, 6 Main St., East Greenwich RI
CONTACT: Jenny Gruslin, 401-378-1789 or jenny@bellyupri.com
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