I’m writing this letter as a heart-broken mother of two young boys. Both of my children, ages 9 and 6, are currently experiencing unexpected and preventable struggles. As painful as it is to put these words on paper, I feel our story may be valuable to other families.
As is our family tradition, on Christmas Eve we visited the home of close friends to celebrate the holiday. After a wonderful dinner, the boys headed to the computer room to track Santa’s progress on the NORAD website. Minutes later, chaos erupted in the house when my younger son ran, screaming, into the kitchen, bleeding profusely from the face. My husband was yelling, telling me Jonathan had been shot. These words were incomprehensible to me and I was certain he was confused.
It quickly became clear this was a horrifying truth. The boys had discovered a loaded pellet gun next to the computer. They mistakenly believed it was an accessory to a video game. With typical boy curiosity, they picked it up. My older son was holding it when it went off, shooting my younger son in the eye. Later in the trauma center at Hasbro, we would find out that the pellet had traveled through his eye socket and lodged in the center of his brain. The pellet remains there, as an operation to remove it brings much higher risk than leaving it.
Jonathan made amazing progress during his week in the hospital. If you saw him today, you would see a typical, happy 6 year old with a shiner reflective of getting socked with a baseball. The physical consequences of this trauma are quiet and open-ended. He has some weakness on his left side, he is at risk for seizures, and we are watching closely for any changes related to his learning, personality, and affect. The scariest risks are related to serious brain infection that could occur at any point in his life – or never. (I vote never.)
Even with all of this, today I am more worried about my older son. He is devastated by this accident and the fact that his beloved little brother has been hurt. I struggle to find the words to describe how painful it is to listen to him tell me that he is worried that people will think he is dangerous. We have some serious emotional work to do with him to help him understand that this was NOT his fault but rather that of an irresponsible adult.
Here is a photo from the hospital that tugs at my heart. Jake was visiting jonathan and I noticed he was absently rubbing his little brother's bare feet. I had to capture the moment.
I am writing this note on New Year’s Day. It seems the appropriate time to ensure that some good will come from this tragic incident. Please consider the following advice and have a serious conversation with your children:
- NEVER, EVER leave ANY gun where a child can find it. Clearly, pellet and BB guns need to be treated the same as other types of firearms.
- NEVER leave a gun loaded.
- Tell your children to alert an adult as soon as they see a gun even if they believe it to be a toy or video game accessory. Make sure they know that adults must be the ones to make this determination.
This advice may seem irrelevant to you if you do not have guns in your home. But, we do not either and the home in which our tragedy occurred is one that I never questioned my children’s safety. If I were able to turn back time, this would be the first conversation I would have with my boys.
This letter wouldn’t be complete without thanking the hundreds of people who have provided us with prayers, messages, food, and support. When seeking even a glimmer of a silver lining in this horrible event, I can find it in the wonderful sense of community that exists here in Cumberland. Please know that we appreciate everything more than you could possibly know.
Wishing you all a healthy, safe New Year.
Karen Berard-Reed
Cumberland, RI
